The VonSander Family Pukers

**The following contains content that is for mature viewers only. Contains references to vomit and other questionable content. Viewers should be advised the following may cause slight laughter, nausea, and abdominal discomfort. The author reserves the right to not be held responsible to the following due to a state of partial delirious due to lack of sleep, food, and liquid.

Kate had stomach problems beginning Tuesday night. It never really amounted to much though so we didn't think much of it. Last night, Rose and I went to church, leaving Kate, Tess, and Jess at home just in case Kate had the flu. Upon arriving at the church, I started not feeling very well. Church is 25 minutes from home, so about halfway through, I decided to leave because I wasn't feeling any better. The closer we got to home the worse I felt. By the time we were a couple of miles away from home I began to feel I wasn't going to make it. You know the feeling! Extreme dizziness, the rising feeling, and the cold sweat! Right before home, I was stopped by a red light. Choice: Get out of the car and have an embarrassing situation in front of all the traffic or pray and try to last. Due to my extreme aversion to embarrassing situations, I chose the latter. Praise the Lord I made it home. Thus began the debut of the VonSander Family Pukers.

As soon as I got home, I was down for the count. The whole works. Miserable. It was 7:00. By 8:30, Rose was throwing up. By
11:00, Tess was throwing up, joined soon by Kate. Finally, at midnight, Jess got into the action as well. It was a symphony of throats at work that was....well....gut wrenching. We were all miserable and it continued throughout the night. There were several times when two of us were throwing up (or pooking according to Rose) at the same time. Jess and I were taking care of the little ones in between our own bouts of getting sick. It continued until 6 in the morning. We just spread the kids around our bed on the floor. Throughout the night, I kept thinking of the verse in I Thessalonians 5, "Rejoice in the Lord and in everything give thanks for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." So, I gave thanks and praised the Lord for a night of puking together as a family! It was a night in which we had to rely upon the Lord and His strength.

On the positive side, I lost five pounds and Jess lost six.

In between my own getting ill and getting out of bed to help my family throw up as effectively and efficiently as possible, I kept thinking of songs from The VonSander Family Pukers. Naturally, these are set to songs from the Sound of Music. Our CD though is called the Sound of Vomit.

1. (Tune: The Hills are Alive) The rooms are alive with the sound of puking. With sounds we all dread, but we've heard before! Our guts will be empty, with the sound of puking and we'll wash every blanket we own.

2. (Tune: A Few of My Favorite Things) Broccoli and meatloaf and bread and potatoes. Cookies and ice cream and chips and lasagna. All of the food that was down in my stomach. It is all coming up now just for me! When the guts churn, when the throat tightens. When I'm feeling bad. I simply throw up and see all of my food and then I just feel soooooooo bad!

3. (Tune: How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria) How do you solve a problem like dry heaving? How do you take the bile and make it stop? How do you make it on time to the bathroom? How do you stop the vomiting and get some rest?

4. (Tune: Do, Re, Mi) Puke, its brown and it smells real bad! Darn, it just got on the rug! Oi, I feel so terrible. Uuuuh, oh here I go again! Arrrgh, the kids are puking too! Will, this night ever end? I, am dehydrated! That will bring us back puke.....

5. (Tune: Climb Every Mountain) Vomit all your food! Clean out your gut! Running to the bathroom! Till you find reeeeliiieeeeffff!

6. (Tune: Sixteen Going on Seventeen) I am gagging, going on vomiting, baby, it's time to heave!

This is the result of laying awake at night in a ball in between episodes and trying to keep a joyful attitude! May it bless you and make you smile! If it bothered you, please remember the disclaimer at the beginning!

Blessings,
Shane